Olive Oil
According to Middle Eastern folklore, olive oil will cure all diseases except the one from which you’re destined to die. That’s comforting. I think the pharmaceutical companies should jump all over that advertising campaign.
"Ask your doctor today about Oomlouzia!
Oomlouzia cures all diseases, except the one from which you’re going to die!
(Side effects may include gastro-intestinal bleeding, hair loss, blindness, vomiting, skin rashes, tooth decay, constipation, acid reflux, bloating, diarrhea, and brain rot. Those who are fond of breathing may want to consult their doctor before taking Oomlouzia. Do not take Oomlouzia if you have ever eaten a vegetable, as uncommon side effects, such as death, may occur.)"
I love these ads. I love the soothing narrator, calmly listing all the gruesome side effects as if he's reading a telephone directory. I'm keeping an alphabetical list of drugs I've seen advertised on T.V. for my own future reference...and amusement. Ask your doctor about this, ask your doctor about that. When the list is nice and long, I want to go to my doctor, ceremoniously unfurl the scroll, and ask her about all these drugs.
"What about Hoodia? No? Ok, how about Nexium, the "purple pill"? No? Ok, how about Viagra...Prilosec...Zorac..."
I guess I’ll stick with olive oil.
posted by Renée @ 10:53 AM
2 Comments:
Oh dear. I read your post while eating dinner and nearly spilled my soup all over the keyboard I was laughing so hard!
Delightful. If you keep an alphabetical list, you're going to have a lot of drugs that start with O, T, or Z... am I right? I don't know. I can't think clearly, because I'm having trouble sleeping. But not for long! Instead of changing my life habits so I can get a natural good night's rest, I'm going to take an expensive drug that makes my eyeballs bleed and causes daytime narcolepsy.
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